You're gonna fly with every dream you chase. You’re gonna cry, but know that that’s okay. Sometimes life’s not fair, but if you hang in there, you’re gonna see that sometimes bad is good. We just have to believe things will work out like they should. Life has no guarantees ...

I could never say so better myself

Feels as though I've been working for months. But when i recount my days since i first started working, it has only been 3 months plus. And in this short period of time, so much had happened and more to be expected. I cant help it but  i feel that so much expectation and demands are being put on me. It had been barely a month that i became the form teacher of 2 classes, but so much blame have been thrown my way. Im trying so hard to push myself and prove to them that i can do it. I dont even know if what im doing so far is right. I have no knowledge of any kind in this industry nor any experience but i dont want it to make me handicap. At the same time i dont want too much responsibility till i feel myself drowning. i feel i have to step up so much that at times it's really demoralizing.

There is no person in the world who is made to handle every punch that’s thrown at them. We aren’t made that way. In fact, we’re made to get mad, upset, sad, be hurt, stumble and fall. We aren’t supposed to be able to handle everything. But that’s what makes us stronger in the end, by learning from the things that hurt us most.

Sometimes i do still wonder why did i make this big leap of change. And this is the reason why:

Sometimes in life, children see and find joy in the littlest things we adults usually take for granted, like red roses, blue skies, green grass. Their imagination and creativity knows no bounds and are not confined within the box, and what touches me most is their ability to simply just revel in the moment, lost in their world of make-believe. Their innocence, their joy and their laughter.

God stay by my side every second of everyday. Help me up when i stumble and fall. Provide me the strength and the motivation to continue to fight every waking day of my life.

Thank god for family and close friends. They are the ones that helps u to keep on going.

Blessed be

Horoscope of the day:

People you want to impress are amazed at your ability to commit, so don't take it for granted. You know what you want right now, so stick with it -- despite the hecklers in the audience. Everyone has doubts once in a while, but you won't let these little worries make you dodge responsibility -- too much is at stake. The long-term success of your plans requires you to prove yourself right now. Keep your eye on the prize and just keep on keeping on.

Im amazed at how sometimes my horoscope of the day provides motivational words and do reflect exactly what i am going through that day.

TGIF

Blessed Be

If only i have the ability to read minds, then things wldnt be complicated. Or that ppl should learn to just say what they mean ..

Anyhoos, the 2 weeks intensive starter kit is finally over. And this indicates that the nightmare will soon begin.
Having experienced a year intensive course in SIM-IMI should make this coming experience easier ... but i truly doubt so. Even then, i was just studying FT and it was tough enuf.
This time, it's going to be different. Work in the morning, school in the afternoon till the evening and the distance between these 2 places doesnt help at all ..  Even when im back home the earliest by 9pm, i still have my teaching aids to prepare and what nots in between.
Just wen im about to adapt to work stuff, a big change happened. And now wen im still unsure of things, i need to readjust again.
November please end soon.

Nonetheless, every tough challenge is a learning experience and a stepping stone to greater success .. and from one of my fav quotes, 'with courage in ur heart & god by ur side, u begin to design the life you want as best as u can'.

Blessed Be

Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

As the days keep on passing by too fast, the coming month is what been on my mind lately. School have started and so far im loving wat i'll be intensively studying. On top of that, i have my morning K2 class to be in charge of  and i am still partly in charge of my afternoon K2 class too. As much im dreading November to come, I hope it will pass by fast and painlessly. Assignments, projects, observation reports and students' portfolio are all due in November. I really pray for strength to overcome this obstacle. I truly will need my patience, multi-tasking skills and determination in place.

Other issues have been keeping me busy too. My mind is truly filled up to its brim with endless worries. Im slowly putting things with accordance to its priority - focusing on whats important first and the rest will be secondary.

As what a fren said, keep it slow. I will definitely try to. =)

Blessed Be

Live with the 3 E's … Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy,
and the 3 F's …Faith, Family, Friends.

Just two months ago, i was still stuck in limbo. And now, so many things have been happening that i dont even have the time to sit down to catch my breath! I have been experiencing alot since i started. A new environment that is totally far from my comfort zone. i truly pray that i wasnt making a big mistake .. even till now. im taking things one step at a time, one month at a time and try not to rush into anything.

I aimed for a job that i need not sit behind an office desk, one that requires me to move about constantly, one that challenged me physically, emotionally and creatively, one that i can never know what to expect at every start of the day and one that i can see myself progressing into as the years passes by. As i look back, little did i know, i got all that i wanted ... only it's something that never crosses my mind.

Plans for me till end of the school term was to be in charge of the learning center and teach malay for 2 classes. But it all took a turn just before Eid. I was suddenly told that till end Sept i will be in charge of 2 K2 classes and when i come back from my 2 weeks intensive course overview, i will the form teacher of one of the morning K2 class. Right now, it have been almost a week plus that i start teaching. And there is already so many things that happened which makes me even more blur. Just when i got settled into my routine and job scope as a learning center teacher, i was suddenly 'thrown' to take charge of 2 classes without much guidance or experience. But im willing to take up this challenge and insyallah i will be more than fine. =)

Anyhoos, received a confirmation email from SP that sch will start in early Oct, tmr to be exact. How exciting. My schedule for the first 2 weeks of the month will be totally packed and im preparing myself to be shagged by the end of each day.

Fri  (2nd Oct): Course orientation from 9am to 5pm
Sat  (3rd Oct): Comb rehearsal for K2 grad ceremony at TCCC from 8.30am to 1pm
Mon - Fri (5th-9th Oct): Sch from 8am to 7pm
Sat (10th Oct): K2 grad ceremony at ITE East Auditorium
Mon to Fri (12th - 16th Oct): Sch from 8am to 7pm

A note worth remembering:

Sometimes Allah breaks your heart to make you whole
Sometimes Allah takes something away to give you something better
Sometimes Allah closes a door to open hundreds more for you
So trust in Allah in all you do because he has a reason for all that happen

Blessed Be

Horoscope of the day:
It looks like your family is making demands of you that just aren't fair. You may have to put your foot down and insist a cousin or sibling help you deal with some of the shared chores that they have been shirking onto your shoulders. They can at least pitch in for gas!


Tell me about it. Sometimes i wish i can just run away. They dont really believe in me tt much anyway.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me and daddy dearest.

How time flies. A month of work has already passed by and as each day comes, Im enjoying every minute of it. Before i stepped into the working world, i always have this fear that I might regret my decision to join that company and would be miserable with just the tout of waking up every morning and get ready for work. Alhamdulillah this change that ive made, this decision to do something different helps me prove otherwise.

Initially when i first started, truth to be told i was afraid. I was afraid to raise my voice and was easily agreeable to what the children want to do. I was afraid to scold any of them coz i didnt want to have them listen to me bcoz they fear me. But i realise soon enough that the more i give in to their request, the more the tested their limits and start stepping all over my head. At one point of time, that one fateful day, they had a taste of how ugly it was to see me angry. I even surprised myself for a moment. haha

Teacher's day was an interesting first experience. I wasnt hoping for any gifts or wishes from them kids. I was new to the environment and have only been with them for just a short while. I didnt expect to have any impact on any of those kids yet. But at the end of the day, I found myself biking home a paper bag full of presents. I
used to think Teacher's day didnt matter ... until now that im a teacher myself. This particular day is when you'll find your efforts worthwhile.

That particular day too was the day i finally signed my contract with the company. Before this, i was hired on an hourly rate basis as my employment has yet to be confirmed. They need the confirmation of my studies with SP before i could be signed on. While going through the contract and all, i found out bout my progress for the next 3 months till end of school in November. Other than still being in charge of the K2s learning center, i will be assigned to teach malay. Yes malay! Im so dead! but mayb i can handle K1 malay. i hope so. hahaha. I will only have a class of my own when sch opens in Jan. No rush. I dont mind taking things slow. One step at a time. When school starts this coming October i bet I'll be extremely busy trying to juggle work and studies at the same time. So while im adjusting, Im grateful i dont really have a class of my own to worry about. =)

I cant help but thank god every single day for this wonderful change of events. Im truly blessed to be in the position im in.

Blessed Be

The plan was to finish up my stuffs by 2, cook the family's 'sahur' and head off to la-la land by 3.30am latest. But since my bro procrastinated to cook the rice, all of which had to be pushed back.

Time check: 4am

Plans for the next hr: Cook by 4.30, eat by 5am, wake up them siblings while i head off to bed. *yawns*

Updates on everything else wil be soon. My brain stopped functioning about 2 hrs ago.

Blessed Be

3 weeks since i first started and Im still anticipating on what will happen next. Everything is happening so fast and I still have yet to learn more. Im loving everyday of every second. I know I have more to give and more to experience. Im trying my hardest everyday to invoke change and at the same time change myself to be better. Ever since my path was lead to the early childhood industry, I have not regret making this big decision and i thank god everyday for guiding me to where im suppose to be. I still think it was not a waste since after all that studying to get into the tourism/events industry that I landed somewhere else. There is always a reason behind everything and I always believe that in one way or another it is for the best.

Another change is coming soon. Definitely something to look forward to.

A few hours time will be the annual family iftar gathering. Im so not looking forward to being judge .. Relatives are just sometimes a pain.

( Sneak Peek )

Next update will be soon i hope.

In the meantime to all muslims, Salam Ramadhan Al Mubarak, Happy fasting!! =)

Blessed Be

I tout teaching kindergarten will be easy. So i tout ...

There are so many things to do! Im even bringing my work home.

And at the end of each day I be extremely exhausted. My bed time is now before 12am. If not Im wont be able to function the next day.

Amazing how a week plus of work can already change a person.

Will update more soon ..

Blessed Be

Horoscope advice: The only thing better than being happy is telling the entire world all about why

Work have been interesting. Something extremely different than what Im used to but I think it's a good change. So far so good and Im enjoying myself lots. Truthfully, I never imagine myself being at the position I am in now. I had been visualizing myself in the tourism or better yet the events industry far too long by psycho-ing myself that I can succeed there. It's all I had been thinking about for years but I guess one can never know where they will end up in the end.

For the first 2 days at work, I was following different teachers around, observing and learning the different ways of teaching. And the next 2 days I was already in charge of the learning center by myself. My learning center is mainly for the kids to learn though playing and it's only for the K2s (There is another learning center for the K1s). There are 7 different corners in the learning center which includes Arts & Craft, Dramatic, Blocks, Library, Computer, Manipulative and Science Corners. All the corners has to have their individual materials that are related for that semester theme which in this case now is Sports. It's crazy delegating the corners to 20 over kids and having to make sure they stay. Per day, there are 4 classes that comes by and Im still having difficulty remembering all their names. But they sure are extremely the cutest even if they misbehave.

Im still learning the ropes and trying to fit in. I know all this takes time and Im in no rush. Im taking it all a day at a time. Slow and steady does it.

In the first place I wasnt even sure I could get employed. It's only when I decided to give it a try that I found out that they were offering a work and study program. So in October onwards, I will be going back to school to get myself a diploma in Early Childhood. So exciting! To top it off, I am not required to pay a single cent for my studies. I cant wait to get better at this and to be able to be in charge of a class on my own. Though I know it will be difficult especially to be juggling work and studies at the same time, but Im really looking forward to the challenge.

However, I believe some will surely say that I have wasted all that money studying overseas and in the end did not even venture enough in the industry. Following that, they will also wonder why the sudden change. But to me, I dont think think it's a waste. I believe that every path that I took was important for me to venture into in order to lead me to where Im standing now. If I had the chance to redo it all, I will do exactly how it had been. The experience I encounter, the friendship Ive made, the memories that I will always treasure are indeed priceless. Some things can never be a waste. If I had never gone through what Ive had in the past years, I can never be who I am now.
But why the change? That is something I myself cant even answer. It all happens so fast and it fits in nicely as if I was meant to be there at that exact precise moment. Things happens for a reason and sometimes it's just best to believe it is for the best.
I dont regret making this big leap of uncertainty coz the path I am at now though unexpected but I have a feeling that this is it. Despite my one year of being lost, I thank god for letting me go through that and come out of it a truly better person than I was before.

The most important thing that this change have taught me is that Im truly am blessed with supportive family and close friends. I can never had survived my darkest hours and the uncertainty in the beginning without them cheering me on constantly. For a moment when my faith was shaken and when I was still hanging to that small glimmer of hope, I thank god for not letting me fall and letting me go and to have me believe that it will all be alright.

Insyallah it will continue to be.

Blessed Be

( What makes work great ... )

Horoscope for the day:
You have every right to brag to friends about your latest accomplishments, but you really shouldn't -- at least not today. Too many of your friends with fragile egos might react negatively. It's not that they won't be happy for you -- they will -- it's just that your exuberance might remind them too much of their lack of good fortune. Be sensitive to this, and choose to share your pride with family members instead. They'll love to hear you pat yourself on the back!

And so, more or less, im employed! like finally. im truly grateful that everything is working out right. It has been a year since Ive graduated and months since I felt lost and all out of hope. The one year that have passed had been a challenge for me - physically, mentally and spiritually.

Thank God for giving me the strength to move on with my life eventhough at times i was really feeling my lowest or when i feel the hole that i fell into is too deep to climb out of or when the path that im walking towards seems to be endless and dark.

For now, i could proudly say I will be a kindergarten teacher! Extremely unexpected but im looking forward to start my life anew. Details on it will be updated soon.

Till then
Blessed Be

Horoscope for the day:
A lot of pressure is being put on you today, but the one who's pushing so hard is you! Lately, you've been way too hard on yourself, and you should stop and realize that you're doing your thing in your own way -- and that's good enough. Part of the stress you're going through right now may be due to the frenetic pace of your life, so address that issue and cut out what isn't completely necessary. Give yourself time to get accustomed to the newness around you.

How true. Im expecting too much from me. Im worried about alot of my what ifs. I should really try to embrace this new experience that i soon will encounter.

Right now, from where im standing, things seems to be falling into place. I truly pray that it continues to do so. Truthfully, im extremely scared right now to venture into something different and to be starting all over again. But after months of feeling lost and unsure, I am now renewed with full of hope and faith that it will be for the best.

Hopefully by end of tmr, there will be exciting great news to share.

But before tt, something to celebrate first,



Im proud of myself and grateful for passing through the entire process just once. Maybe getting through this was the step that i had to take before i can finally find my calling? Maybe? I shall conclude on it on my next post. I shall conclude about the months that Ive been stuck in a deep hole, the endless dark road.

Till next entry then. Stay tune.

Blessed Be